Halvargó's foreign affairs situation has turned into a crisis in recent years. Ever since the "General Law of Tower Defense" was codified, the Empire of the United Towers has thrown itself into weaponry with great vigor. The spark was thrown by a violent storm , which destroyed three towers: the other towers blamed Halvargó for the misfortune , the accusation was that we overbuilt and accumulated too much material, this congestion thickened the water above us, caused currents and attributed to the collapse. The leading men of the Empires urged more and more fiercely the strengthening of cohesion, stimulated the citizenry to work harder,-148-so that the other towers do not suffer their fate - they insisted on the need for disarmament, which, if necessary, must be carried out by force, with fire and iron.
According to our calendar, the war between the towers broke out towards the middle of June. Halvargó belonged to the Left Alliance, and as such, he resolutely and desperately stood up for his conviction, according to which the gonczargocan only be prevented by increasing construction, not by reducing it: for this purpose, it would be desirable for two or three towers to operate under a common head of state, and these towers must be occupied by force if there is no other way. Precisely because, as soon as the war broke out, all exits were blocked without water, so that the cowardly mob would not escape and evade their military obligations. By blocking the exits, it was possible to achieve the enthusiastic atmosphere necessary for the attack - the whole tower was in excitement, everyone crowded towards the only exit, the roof ledge, where the first clashes took place with the soldiers of the neighboring tower. I entered the battlefield as a chief supporter myself, where, as a brave soldier, I soon gained merits,-149-imbued with the idea of Tower Defense, which promised the world eternal peace and happy work.
I wrote about the campaign itself and the times that followed in another book, which has since seen many editions. Here I will only deal briefly with the main data. At first we fought with great success, we took a lot of prisoners, locked them in the basement of the tower and fed them, - unfortunately, being unable to wait for our huge losses to be replenished, we were forced to retreat from the Kurgi bulls at the end of December and give up the ground. The kurgi set fire to our tower and slaughtered the guards left behind for protection. There was a similar consensus among the leadership of the towers allied with Halvargó : an undecidable grammatical question gave rise to a disagreement between the military leadership and diplomacy. The linguists of diplomacy claimed that the Bulls- in view of the great interests of society, the singular first person personal pronoun must be deleted from the dictionary and public consciousness and replaced by the plural pronoun, - according to them, the cause of all problems was that it was impossible to reconcile the features of the pronoun "I" with the pronouns "we" - what if-150-a diplomat said, " we are willing to the last drop of blood, etc.", then in this word "we" they also included "I", i.e. himself, which caused an impossible situation, while if the soldier on the battlefield said, "I'm hungry" or "I'm dying", the diplomacy of the enemy tower immediately concluded that something was wrong over there, although there was no mention of it. All kinds of misunderstandings resulted from this, which, according to the diplomats, could only have been resolved by the radical eradication of the word and concept "I".
The promoters of this view won a victory, as another scandal gave the whole movement a new direction. Already during the war, a rift occurred inside each tower - half of the fighters wanted to end the war, the other half wanted to continue. The two parties got into a fight with each other, at first outside the towers, later, recognizing the power that lies in the alliance between the towers, the anti-war parties of each tower joined together, against the block of the war parties, which also allied between the towers for its will, the continuation of the war between the towers, to carry through.-151-
This war lasted for a long time, many prisoners were taken from both sides, - finally, with its larger arsenal of weapons and crueler, fiercer attacks, the moderate, anti-war party won and forced peace on its opponent.
After triumphing in this way, the council of five of the Plural Personal Pronouns began to prepare for its second major task, to ensure peaceful work. Disagreements arose again in this regard - some linguists demanded the deletion of the first person personal pronoun after the deletion of the first person possessive pronoun as well: arguing that the word "our" makes "mine" redundant and solves the economic issue. The Conservative Party of Two-and-a-half-Year-Old Babies argued in vain that people know the word "mine" before "I" and therefore it is of more general significance - the revolution broke out irresistibly and stirred up the workers of the lower ledges. Scientists came forward and showed that the bulls- have so far wasted a lot of work by building the tower upstairs, - since the goal is to reach the surface of the sea, it is completely sufficient,-152-if they start building the top floor right away and begin this work immediately. For this reason , it is best if the bulls who built the foundation come up to the top floor, push the above down into the basement, demolish the previous construction and start all over again, above, on the tenth floor. This perception prevailed for a while, the destruction began, the resisters were shut down - until finally someone realized that it was all worthless, because the bulls who should build the tenth floor are still small and immature: the adult basement builders but they don't understand it. Another solution must be found.
After that, various solutions for avoiding the gonczargo followed in quick succession, and their testing and application. In the movements that followed each other, I took a strong part as an enthusiastic citizen of Halvargó - I was a member of that society which, rejecting the empty battles of the personal and possessive pronouns, instead recommended the improvement of verb forms and tenses, and which for a time even prevailed, with the program that all actions in the present time should be considered as if they were taking place in the future. After their scientists accurately-153-they calculated that after twelve hundred years the bulls would necessarily wear such and such clothes-s, they will live like this and like this, they will want this and that, they will live in such and such a form of government, they will paint such and such pictures and write poems, they will eat this and that, it is obvious that we save a lot of time if the exact we are already putting these results of calculations into practice and acting as if twelve hundred years had already passed. The Jövőbelátó Sociálgummiráző Party also took control and for two days everything went like a hoop and would have continued if a sudden epidemic of enteritis and its unpleasant consequences had not put an end to the matter: the leaders became dizzy from the terrible stench and were forced to give up their seats , maintaining their position that the calculation was perfect, only they forgot about the enteritis, which was not caused by them, but by the sudden bad weather, which unexpectedly covered the sky in the afternoon, - scientists really cannot be asked to tell what the weather will be like an hour from now, when they have to think twelve hundred years ahead. – Next is the Last Snow Freezer-154-An association took over, which, learning from the memory of the terrible destruction caused by the Rubber Pullers, set its flag on the concept that since the future cannot be known, but the future is, it would be best to start over where we left off sixteen hundred and forty years ago. Accordingly, everyone had to go back to their place of belonging, - the debtor did not have to pay, who, on the other hand, got money in the meantime, it was taken from him and given to the person who owned it one thousand six hundred and forty years ago. Thus, under successive powers, everyone achieved something, the only ones who did badly were those who wanted to live as if the third of June was really the third of June and not the ninth of September or the eighteenth of March - these were both punished and imprisoned by the Rubber Pullers and the Snow Freezers. Smaller and larger collective movements,with the development of bullock theory and the idea of tower defense, great ideas followed one another. There were those who, breaking with the down-to-earth understanding of the monists, flayed each other's skins on the basis that bulls were not irrational, bloodthirsty animals, but dual beings,-155-soul and body, which is governed by knowledge and insight in addition to the ordinary selection guided by the struggle for existence, - others again, keeping in mind the interest of the protection and breeding of the species, proved that a bull his value, from the point of view of morality and silkworm breeding, is determined by who his father and mother were: who he is himself, or whether he is in the world at all, is quite immaterial, just as in a horse race we trust the competing horses according to what they came from a family. Thinkers and writers were driven out of their place, replaced by a peculiar breed of chemists who, according to certain groups, showed the traits in people's thinking and actions that can be inferred based on where they were born: this was then called a world view. Later, this science became very sophisticated: the bulls were pitted against each other based on various characteristics-s, it turned out that the growth, color, smell and state of the hair, ears, and nails are closely related to the nature and intention of the bulls , - that's how the short ones got into the fight for the first time-156-and the core ones, then the high cheekbones and the sunken eyes, the blondes and the brunettes, the fat and the skinny. Later, unfortunately, some disturbances occurred, precisely as a result of the over-developed knowledge and sense of the apostles of the human and race religion, in the last great battle, in which many people fell, became groundless, lost everything, and which took place between two types, the Nose Wart-wearers and the Among people with forward-bending earlobes, it turned out that there are some who have warts on their noses, and their earlobes also bend forward, but there are also those who have none: and so from this point of view, it was not possible to divide the whole bulliness into two parts in order to fight it effectively the great ideological struggle. It was necessary to start all over again - they returned to the naive folk belief, which oopssees the fog patches as - the common danger, and the goncsargó as the punishment of providence. At the time when, as we shall immediately see, I had to unexpectedly leave Capillaria, the great struggle was at this very stage, and this is how I saw it for the last time: what happened since then, I do not know: my last memory therefore relates to this great upsurge,-157-which was established in the policy of the defeated Halvargó . The Goncsargó government took power, founded the First Goncsargó Association, opposed to the unbelievers, established the Goncsargó Consumption Institute, Biochemical Shoe Factory, in other words the Political Government Party of Goncsargó Believers, which tried with great force to create order in the tower. I myself, who took part in quite a few battles, due to my unknown origin, was initially suspicious of the Goncsargó party: later, however, with a reading I gave under the title "The Goncsargó orientation and the international spread of the national idea, with particular regard to the ears torn out by machine parts", I came back to the surface Xa -ra , who at this time, in addition to maintaining his principles, was once again the leading and controlling personality of the government.
In a few words, the story of my liberation from capillaria consists of this.
One day, one of the commissioners of the government appeared at my place and asked me, as an expert on the oiha issue, to undertake the leadership of the delegation that Halvargó had sent to one of the rather distant towers, where the astronomers had signaled gonsargó and from where relief teams could be sent.-158-they asked us to restore the broken internal order. I accepted the honorable assignment and we set off one morning. Our journey lasted for days, we had to overcome many obstacles, but we finally reached the tower in question, where we were supposed to enter. However, the insurgents surrounded us, disarmed my escort, and before I could cross the gate, I was arrested as a traitor and thrown into prison. I was not able to complete the investigation, because in the meantime the gunfire stopped, most of the bulls died, the rest fled. I left my prison at night, the guards of which disappeared from my side - terribly exhausted and exhausted, I made my way in an uncertain direction, hiding and worrying more and more lest I should be attacked by hostile bulls.- people who, not knowing the situation, would classify my escape as an escape and would simply gut me, or remove the gills from my ears and I would drown. A patrol also chased me, but I won my way and the coral forest provided protection.
At dawn the ground began to rise, I climbed up in the filtering light and finally reached the top of the mountain, where, exhausted-159-and I fell to my death. I felt that it was over, there was no escape, I couldn't go anywhere, no one would protect me - the Oihás were driven away, the Bulls were looking for death: I must perish miserably. I began to beg loudly and cursed my fate and my own foolishness, which, after so many bitter experiences, reawakened in me the desire and urge to travel. I thought that I was living my last minutes and that I would never see my beloved country again, and I was about to tear off my gills and shorten my sufferings, when a terrible roar and rumbling and shaking brought me to my senses. At the same time, the ground beneath me shook and a hot blanket hit me next to me. A tremendous force gripped me, dragged me, rolled me and picked me up - I caught my breath and lost consciousness.
Actually, it was a very simple thing that happened to me, only the peculiar circumstances made it extraordinary. Later I understood the connection, which I am putting forward as an explanation of my strange adventure. The mountain I came to is one of the craters on the sea floor: what captivated me was the eruption of the crater. The lava, which immediately hardens into a white top in the water, raised up s-160-while I drifted in a swoon in him, he placed such a lively force in my limbs that it was sufficient to throw me to the surface of the sea. When I came to, I found myself on a narrow reef formed by the outcropping reef at that place, which the waves were slowly rocking and drifting towards the north. My gills were no longer on me. I looked around, rubbed my eyes and stared in amazement at the Sun and the bell of the blue sky, which I had not been allowed to see for so long. It was towards evening, the sky was cloudless, I couldn't see a beach anywhere.
After twenty-four hours of vomiting, a cruise ship discovered me and rescued me from my predicament. On the first day, I felt no sign of the nervous illness that then broke out in me and which, as a temporary mental disorder, I now remember only with shame. Only when we reached shore and the captain of the cruiser inquired about my identity and adventures did I realize that I was not who I was. I found the smell of the men intolerable, and I answered the captain's question in the Oiha language, the strange screeching and shouting of which startled the good man so much that he asked the ship's doctor to examine him and place him in one of the-161- in hospital. However, before this could happen, I untied the wheel and ran out into the city. I learned that I was in France, near Marseilles: on examining my pockets, I discovered some gold money, which the long stay under the sea had not soaked like my clothes and boots. With this money I bought women's clothes in a store, put them on secretly, put false hair on my head, reddened my mouth, and smeared my face thickly with rice powder after the model of the beautiful women of Marseilles. I only vaguely remember these and similar follies that I committed in the following weeks. This little that I remember came to my mind a few weeks later, when I was resting a little in the Dover asylum where I was confined, and to my doctor, the kind and understanding Mr. Fox, I told the origin and history of my nightmares during the foot massage classes. I repentantly confessed that aTormented by the sufferings among the bullies and with a brain turned from itself, in the first days some confused, deranged determination, or rather an obsession, took over me - that I would never be a man again, or if so, only-162-in order to take up the fight against the oppressor and enslaving tyrant of the human race, the woman - I take up the fight, with my own weapons, indifference and lies - in disguise, in the mask of a woman, I get among them, reveal their secrets and, in possession of them, I liberate unhappy and ignorant bullies - my companions.
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I am ashamed to say these stupid things, and I already said them to the good Dr. For Fox. - Resting from the fatigue of my strange journey, I spent a few more weeks in the mental hospital, after which, after hearing my sensible speech and based on the doctors' opinion, the board declared me cured. I left the institute on March 4, 1922, and a few days later, exactly on March 10, I arrived in my hometown, Redriff, where I found my wife and children in good health.
