Roots of Sexual Anxiety
I heard from a friend who works in law that many of the divorce cases she is responsible for are related to sexual disharmony between husband and wife. In fact, from the perspective of sex education, there may be many deep-seated reasons behind sexual disharmony, such as the huge difference in the spiritual level of two people. Another reason is that the husband and wife are not due to disagreement with their lover themselves, but simply because of differences on sexual issues, causing unnecessary sexual anxiety on both sides, and then triggering an emotional crisis.
Research reports show that 70% of men experience sexual anxiety during sex. In fact, it's not just men who are anxious about sexual problems. So, where does sexual anxiety come from?
Gender Stereotypes In our familiar culture, many gender stereotypes make some people feel anxious. Based on some gender stereotypes, some people will have inner worries when they have sex, worry about their performance, worry about whether they will be found out as a virgin, and worry about their sexual ability. In general, men will never say they are not interested in sex, otherwise they are worried about being considered impotent; women are different, and sexual indifference is not only not a manifestation of impotence, but may become a "merit" of obeying the moral bottom line. Some women obviously have needs, but they suppress themselves, and this repression will erupt in other ways.
Inner Self Comparison Whether a person is confident and proud of his or her body and its functions directly affects whether he or she can easily feel pleasure in sex life. For example, many men will consider their sexual performance, worry about why they are not performing well, whether it is sexual dysfunction, or whether their sexual desire is not as strong as when they were young, whether their sexual ability has deteriorated, and their lover still loves them. Don't love yourself etc. This anxiety is brought about by your own internal self-comparison. If our hearts are at peace, much of the obvious common sense will not be ignored by us. If you want to improve your self-development, you can turn to a psychologist.
Lack of sexual knowledge Sometimes, some people care about whether their penis is big enough or whether their vagina is tight, but they ignore some knowledge about sex itself. According to a foreign statistic, more than 75% of men enter orgasm ejaculation 2 to 6 minutes after the start of sexual life, and then enter the refractory period, and the sexual life ends; most women need 8 to 15 minutes of sexual intercourse to reach orgasm. This male and female physiological imbalance is the "enemy" of a harmonious sexual life, and is often an important cause of various sexual psychological and physical diseases. If the two sides have feelings, it is only because of the lack of popular science knowledge that the disharmony is caused, then learning about the popular science knowledge about sex can solve the problem.
Learn to put sex in perspective
Sex is beautiful and important For a long time, the stigma of sex has caused us to confuse privacy and stigma, and we need to justify sex in our minds. Sex is something everyone needs, just like eating, it is closely related to human reproduction and the harmony of husband and wife relationships.
Sex is our right. We ask when we want to have sex, and the other party refuses because of fatigue. This is actually very normal. It is the right of each of us to express hope or to express rejection. The other party rejecting us does not mean that he does not love us, it just means that he may not want to at this time. We can solve it this way, such as agreeing to have sex at a time, we can say "Okay, you go to bed first, we will see you in the middle of the night" or "Okay, you go to bed first, we will see you tomorrow morning".
Sex is something that can be learned. Sexology is a specialized discipline. Sex education contains a lot of knowledge and skills that are closely related to our lives. The comprehensive sexuality education promoted by UNESCO includes eight aspects: relationships, values, rights, culture and sexuality, understanding gender, violence and safety, health and well-being skills, human body and development, sex and sexuality, and sexual and reproductive health. Core idea. Making yourself comfortable in your relationship can be learned.
How to Cope with Sexual Anxiety
Think about it, do you think sex studies should be read by everyone? The answer is yes. Because each of us has a different career, but all of us "encounter" with sex at some point in our lives and long after.
Read monographs on sex If you find that you know very little about sex, you can read some monographs. After reading books, you will find that what you thought was right is actually wrong.
Seek professional support If sexual distress is affecting your life and causing you to feel anxious, you may wish to seek counseling from a counselor with a background in sex education. After all, professionals have studied in this field for many years, have been exposed to many cases, and have rich experience and can help you.
Fully communicate with our lover our own personal feelings about sex. If we don't express it, it is difficult for the other party to know. How we discuss sex in a non-emotional and comfortable way is worth thinking about, and it also helps to promote sexual harmony and relieve sexual anxiety. It’s important to avoid judging the other person’s performance during sex as much as possible, and focus on expressing your feelings and needs. Because this part is private and sensitive, we want to avoid making our lover anxious.
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