When Charlie Munger travels alone, he takes economy class for both business and personal matters, but when traveling with his wife and family, he takes his own private jet. Charlie explained: My wife has raised so many children for me all her life, and she has given a lot of effort, and her health is not good. I must take good care of her.
Someone asked Charlie how to find a good spouse. Charlie said that the best way is to make yourself worthy of each other, because a good spouse is not a fool.
Charlie has studied the causes of human failure throughout his life, so he has a deep understanding of the weaknesses of human nature. Based on this, he believes that people must be strict with themselves and continuously improve their cultivation throughout their lives to overcome the weaknesses of human nature. This way of life is a moral requirement for him. To outsiders, Charlie may look like an ascetic monk, but to Charlie, this process is both rational and enjoyable and can lead to a successful and happy life.
Charlie later years often quoted the following sentence from the "Pilgrim's Progress" swordsman in the words of truth to the end of his speech: "I can wield a sword left to its people."
1
One rainy day, a little boy followed his grandmother on a bus. They were about to embark on a wonderful journey, but the destination was not a remote and wonderful country, but the real terminal-Market Street.
The reluctant little boy, under the gentle and imaginative guidance of his grandmother, began to "see" the hidden scenery in daily life: a big tree drinking water through a straw, an old bus that could breathe fire, A driver who can do magic...
a journey that couldn’t be more ordinary. Behind every passenger in the bus there is a touching story-a bald man covered in tattoos, an old woman holding a jar of butterflies, A well-mannered blind man and his dalmatian, a singer holding a guitar... The
little boy envied other people’s private cars, and his grandmother told him that the old bus he was riding in was full of magic; the little boy envied other people’s headphones, and the grandmother told him He, there is a musician sitting across from him. In the consumer society with overwhelming advertisements, the children learnt how to ask for more: "I want, I want, I want..." and the old grandmother reminded him: "You have already Yes, you already have it, you already have..."
Such a small picture book perfectly explains a very popular concept today-resilience.
This is a concept derived from physics-some objects will deform under the action of external force, but when the external force is removed, they can return to their original state. Human psychology is the same. When encountering an accident or being in adversity, the most common reaction of a person is not to be crushed, but to recover quickly, usually within a few months to return to the normal track.
This theory emphasizes that people are not passive bearers of crises, but have the ability to actively cope, and in the process of coping, they can mobilize their own psychological capabilities and social support systems to stimulate the psychological effects and behavioral patterns of coping. .
2
Regarding negative events in life, traditional psychology has always focused on "vulnerability", investigating those negative factors that can cause psychological trauma and lead to unfortunate results. But the study of "resistance" opened the study of "protective" factors in negative events: looking for a person's background or personality to find those positive factors that make him reborn in adversity.
In 1989, American psychologist Amy Warner published a 32-year longitudinal follow-up survey of 638 children (Kauai, Hawaii) from the time they were born to the age of 32. She monitors all possible sources of stress: mother’s stress during pregnancy, poverty, and various family problems, such as parents with alcoholism or mental health problems.
Two-thirds of the children have a safe and stable family background, and one-third of the children are considered "at risk" from their family background. But Amy Warner found that in these risk groups, not all children cope with stress in the same way-two-thirds of them did have serious learning or behavior problems around the age of 10, or at 18 Criminal records, mental disorders, pregnancy, etc. occur before the age of age; but another one-third of the children have grown up to be "capable, confident, and loving" adults. They are good at discovering and using various new opportunities in life, and have achieved academic, family and social success.
These children, who also grew up in risky families, have walked out of a completely different life landscape. What is the difference between them and those who are going negative?
Amy Warner believes that in addition to luck, there are several key factors that determine whether a person has "resilience."
First, whether there is a supportive caregiver.
Those children who come from risky families but can eventually come out of negative energy mostly have a caregiver who can accept them unconditionally. This person can be parents, grandparents, elder brothers and sisters, or some other person like a life mentor. There is a strong emotional connection between the child and this kind of caregiver, just like the grandmother in "The Last Stop on Market Street".
In fact, this grandmother was created by Christian Robinson, the illustrator of this book, based on her grandmother. Christian Robinson belongs to the one-third of the children born in the bottom of society. His mother took drugs and was a frequent visitor to prison. Both he and his brother were raised by their grandmother. It was her grandmother who gave them a place called "home", and it was her grandmother who taught them how to cherish and create.
Robinson likes to paint since he was a child. For him, painting allows him to create a world he wants to see and control on his own.
Second, the child's psychological characteristics, and the way to deal with the environment.
Children with strong "resilience" often have stronger personalities, are independent, are willing to seek new experiences, have a more positive social orientation, and are willing to interact with people outside their family.
The third and most important point is that children with strong "resilience" have what is called "internal control points" in psychology.
"Control point" is a concept in the social learning theory put forward by American psychologist Julian Roth, which means that people's behavior depends on their own control (internal control point) or the control of other external forces (external control point). People with internal control points believe that they can control their lives and are the masters of their own destiny.
From this perspective, the so-called "resistance" is actually a way of looking at the world-we cannot control the problem, but we can control our response to the problem. Just like John Lennon sang in a song, fate can disrupt your entire life at any time, but as long as you respond proactively, you have more control over your life.
3
In an interview, Matt de la Peña, the author of "The Last Stop on Market Street", answered my question about the ending of the story in this way-the bus terminal, which is the destination of the grandchildren, is a A caring kitchen for the poor and the homeless. The kitchen is portrayed as beautiful and warm, just like heaven. Isn’t this self-deception?
"The truth is that no matter where you live, the world is a desolate place, and there is sadness everywhere. In "The Last Stop of Market Street", I just want to say that you still have questions about how to look at the world. Choice-you can choose to look at the ugly side, or you can try to find the good side.
"Even at the end of the story, I don’t think the little boy has been completely changed. His grandma just gently pushed him. One hand, let him take a step towards the better side. Even if he grows up in the future, marries a beautiful wife, and has a lovely child, maybe he will still have the same struggle-how to see the good side of this world? We are all struggling like this. "
