In any community that has a structure, from a country to a family, or an economy like Robinson and Friday, power is an out-and-out "hard currency." The currency is comparable.
However, people seem to be reluctant to talk about power publicly, discuss how to obtain and use power, and the experience and experience in it are usually only "privately imparted", as mysterious as "passing on from one's child to another." The fundamental reason is that although the value of power is self-evident in the eyes of simple people and noble people, its acquisition and maintenance are inevitably linked to such traits as corruption, thick blackness, cruelty, and coldness. .
Therefore, in business society or business circles, people talk about the beautiful "leadership" like a mirage, instead of talking about power outright. In fact, as Deborah Greenfield, Professor of Social Psychology and Organizational Behavior at Stanford University, said in Acting with Power: Why We Are More Powerful than We Believe, “Determine who we are and how we are What affects the world is not how much power we have, but how we use it." The late innovation master Clayton Christensen also said, "If you want to help others, you must be a manager. If you do well, a manager is one of the most noble professions."
Power can be evil or good. So, how can power be good? This needs to start with understanding why bad power occurs.
Why does bad power happen
INSEAD professor Manfred Katz de Vries called some of his research objects, entrepreneurs or executives, "prisoners of the supreme." Why would a person degenerate into an insatiable hedonist, a split-personality hypocrite, a PUA bully, an arrogant self-proclaimed talent, and a "playboy" who harass his subordinates?
Power itself is like a demon. If you can't control it, you will be enslaved by it.
Deborah’s experiment shows that “when we have no concept of power in our minds, we will be cautious when we behave in society, uphold the so-called self-supervision, and try to stay away from trouble; We will decide whether to pursue our own interests after the consequences for others; but once we are in power, our personal goals will prevail, thus ignoring the well-being or opinions of others." In other words, being in power relieves self-inhibition and personifies him as an object or tool to achieve personal goals.
Another reason may be that people who were originally unhealthy and unhealthy have gained the upper hand in the power competition and won the deficiencies.
For example, bullies who maintain their control through threats and intimidation seem to be too grumpy on the surface, but they mock and insult their subordinates in essence to transfer insecurity from the source to the target of the PUA.
It seems that those in power should be advised to see a psychiatrist regularly. However, this is probably the least feasible strategy, unless they can "rewrite" the "source code" of their spiritual world like Inception. Otherwise, it is better to educate and encourage individuals threatened or violated by bad power to adopt appropriate strategies to conduct effective defense or struggle.
Dare to say "no" and don't act as a victim
Interestingly, people who abuse power are often the most tempting.
A few years ago, there was an anti-corruption drama "In the Name of the People" that caused heated discussion. In addition to the beauty and heartiness brought by justice over evil, the villain "Qi Tongwei" in the play also received a lot of sympathy, and this is the reason. On the one hand, power itself is very attractive. The house-of-love and black effect it produces will make those in power look radiant, so people are naturally willing to approach power and get close to power; on the other hand, if the person’s growth experience happens to be insecure and full of helplessness Even in the past of being abused, they desire a powerful power to help and protect themselves.
However, bad power will unceremoniously and easily exploit the latter's insecurities. Therefore, if you want to avoid becoming a lamb to be slaughtered, you must first trust your instincts, pay attention to dangerous signs, and beware of those who do not accept "no". These people are “good at showing charm, good at attracting, enticing, and manipulating others....Beware of people who think you are excellent and show disrespect or contempt for almost everyone, because they are trying to consolidate control of you ". To use an inappropriate analogy, they are just accumulating "scum" power, and sooner or later they want you to cry.
Secondly, it must show enough "insensitive power." Bad power aspires to be the protagonist, and this requires someone to be a supporting role. However, if the selected "supporting role" is very "glass-hearted", it will arouse the bad guys' interest in taking an inch, because it makes the game more exciting. On the contrary, if you behave carelessly, very coldly, or even boringly, bad power will look for other goals.
Again, understand yourself and don't blame yourself. I was abused, and I condemned myself with the abuser, "The leader ridiculed me, because I was not good enough, I did not do it right, I should feel guilty", it seems very unreasonable. But in fact it may very well be a corollary of a very simple concept. Those who believe in the "just world hypothesis", that is, "good is rewarded for good, and evil is rewarded for evil", it is very likely that they will come into this vicious circle. Shouldn't we believe that the world is just? Yes, but it must be noted that it usually works in the reverse direction. Therefore, many people agree that "the poor must be hateful", and "condemn the victim" is not uncommon. In this situation, I think I am pitiful and hateful.
Fourth, don't act like a victim. Don’t send such a signal to people around you—I’m obedient and eager to please others; I’m timid, please let it go... On the contrary, when you encounter an attack, show calmness and calmness, and show that you are not in a mess. Develop a clear stand, obvious preference and firm determination. Because the abuser knows how to "pinch the persimmon" better than others, you must at least show that you are a tough one.
Fifth, stick to the bottom line, be friendly but firmly refuse evil, and express dissatisfaction. You want to put yourself in a relatively safe environment as much as possible, and at the same time dare to say "no". For example, when someone interrupts you, you have to tell the other person, "I haven't finished speaking yet."
Nothing can push power for good more effectively than good people and slightly more normal-minded people competing for power and controlling power. Confucius said, "Come straight and wrong," "the people will serve the people" and "can make the wrong one straight." If the "straight" person stays out of the matter, it is tantamount to surrendering power, justice, and goodness to the "waste" person.
Sixth, work together with allies. In the age of social media, even if you can't find allies in the organization, you may find allies outside the organization, such as the Metoo movement.
Finally, active empathy. Empathy is not a compromise or concession, but an active listening, understanding the despair and pressure of those in power, acknowledging the rationality of the other party’s views, and showing genuine interest. This is why negotiators can succeed. However, for ordinary people, it may be difficult to do. However, it should also be noted that sometimes evil acts are self-fulfilling expectations, and understanding others rather than hostility is likely to prevent bad power.
Good people enter the game, learn from the actors
Saying "no" may prevent evil, but it may not bring good, and it may just pass the harm on to other people. Nothing can push power for good more effectively than good people and slightly more normal-minded people competing for power and controlling power. Confucius said, "Come straight and wrong," "the people will serve" and "can make those who fail straight". If the "straight" person stays out of the matter, it is tantamount to surrendering power, justice, and goodness to the "waste" person.
However, good people can't help being "kind and not in control", and they can't help but worry and get lost in them. In fact, power is inevitable. From a utilitarian point of view, unless the ancestors are rich in business or the heavens enjoy food, otherwise rejecting power is tantamount to accepting the circumstances and life below the average. Furthermore, everyone has to face the self, and the self is usually very complicated. And power helps to dig deeper into a more complete and true self, not just at the tip of the iceberg, confined to a person’s personality, habits, and feelings. In short, it encourages people to explore the scene, seek the path of heaven, perceive humanity, and reflect on themselves. It not only triggers good, but also provokes evil; it tastes the sweetness of self-satisfaction, but also the bitterness of weakness and frustration. Only after experiencing "a mountain is not a mountain, water is not a water" can we finally see the mountains and rivers.
Good people do not want to be good old people, let alone be unattainable saints, or ordinary people and normal people in daily life. As long as the prejudice against power is removed, the method is adequate. And Deborah's research provides a desirable toolkit.
First, we must understand the nature of power. When it comes to "power", people's first impression is usually "control." Indeed, "power is the ability to control others and their results." But the question is, why are people willing to accept the control imposed by others and follow the will of others as actions? Because of being needed, "Once others need you, they will please you and give you control", "Power depends on how much others need you, especially in order to obtain expensive rewards and avoid punishment."
"Needed" means that power is a "supply-demand relationship" in which the supplier dominates. Therefore, the first thing to gain power is to discover needs, not to highlight characteristics. It is true that things such as wealth, fame, charm, beauty, ambition, and self-confidence may bring power, but it is not power itself and does not necessarily translate into power. Only when you have a competitive advantage in meeting demand can you gain solid power, and building a good relationship with your "customer" is undoubtedly a sustainable competitive advantage, because the hard power of flaunting power is daunting, but the gain is only a short time. The guest service is a fragile power; like Mu Chunfeng's soft power is conducive to gaining, consolidating and expanding status and power in a longer period of time.
Second, learn from the actors. First, learn to overcome "performance anxiety." Even the "old opera bones" also have performance anxiety. Therefore, when you are worried that you are not qualified, face responsibilities, and fear that you will be looked down upon due to failure, it is actually human nature; especially at the beginning of the "performance". This phenomenon is even more common. Many methods of actors can be used for reference, such as dress rehearsal; to ease anxiety through "warming up"; focus on people and things other than self, "In most cases, others are actually not interested in you because they only care about themselves. Interested"; showing positive emotions, it will be contagious, when you convey enthusiasm, other people will "return" the enthusiasm; pay attention to the present, maintain communication, such as "applause" is to communicate with the audience.
Second, abide by the plot and "act" yourself. Don't treat performance as a false thing, believe that "performance is to be yourself, and to be yourself is to perform." If you want to be brilliant, you must abide by the “story”, don’t be blind and willful, keep in line with the scene and the plot, keep in touch with the shared reality of the community, understand what others are doing, when and how; when you choose a role , Even if it is a dragon role, you must accept it and be loyal to it; prepare props and wear "costumes" to enhance the impression of others of you and help yourself "enter the play", for example, the collision of high-heeled shoes with the ground The sound and the ancient official’s trip to beat the gongs and drums are evasive or have the same effect; another example is, "Don’t bow your head, the crown will fall", which shows the power of props; mark your own "turf", as long as one feels in your own turf When you go, you will feel at ease, safe, and confident.
Third, attach importance to contributions and put collective interests as the top priority. Although everyone must work hard to be the protagonist, they must also be prepared to be a supporting role. On a specific occasion, when someone with a higher status than you appears, an overwhelming performance not only does not help gain status and respect, it is counterproductive. So, if you play a good supporting role, don’t complain why the protagonist is not me, let alone grab the protagonist’s play, but “focus on doing a good job and focusing on perfecting your skills, which shows that you care more about your contribution to the team than yourself. How much recognition has been obtained", and at the same time, "willing to take personal risks for the collective benefit (because) this is the most reliable source of status."
Finally, be strong and soft. Sometimes, you have to deliberately exaggerate the influence of power, such as being aggressive in your body language, ignoring each other, interrupting each other, rejecting each other, telling others bluntly "I am the boss here, I have the final say", etc. ; Sometimes, it is necessary to deliberately downplay the influence of power, such as low-key, self-deprecating, seeking help from others, respecting the boundaries of subordinates, seeking the opinions of others to gain recognition, treating others including subordinates as collaborators, etc. Wait.
So, when should it be more recent? When the team is facing a crisis, the strong and the courage to be others are firstly respected. When those in power use dominance, control or even aggressive means to help the weak, or are willing to sacrifice themselves to benefit the group, people will think that they are both capable and Responsible.
When should I be softer again? Others like when you can bring more value than when they are afraid of you. When the crisis is lifted and people's sense of security has improved, their desire for authoritarian leaders has dropped significantly. They hope to participate more, not only gain a sense of participation, but also actively contribute their wisdom and strength. Research shows that people who make recommendations for the development of the organization and are eventually adopted are more loyal to the organization.
Reflect on the standards of employment
In fact, many top figures in the organization system actively promote power for good, avoiding the distortion and stagnation of demand information, so as to enhance the legitimacy of the entire system and achieve a long-lasting foundation. To achieve this, the criteria for selecting and appointing people to grant power should follow Deborah’s “beneficial” principle, “using power to benefit stakeholders and realizing economic benefits in a way that respects the rights of employees and customers”, Specifically, there are three aspects.
First, from desire orientation to achievement orientation. Both experience and theory have shown that people who actively lobby, promote themselves, expand their contacts, and attract the attention of the high-status are more likely to win the power race. But it contains too much random and elaborate information asymmetry. Studies have shown that professionals with strong power needs are promoted quickly, but the probability of scandals is also high. Therefore, when selecting candidates, one should take into account the candidate’s achievement motivation, that is, the purpose of holding power is to make greater achievements, not for power itself.
Second, from based on charm and prestige to based on dedication. The general public often succumbs to a person's charm or prestige when choosing whom to follow. However, as Harvard University’s researcher on charismatic leadership, Professor Rakesh Kurana said, “organizations that rely on continuous charismatic leaders are essentially trying their luck.” On the other hand, the charm of many people is the result of packaging, not what they really are. Therefore, dedication is more important than charisma, which means that leaders are caring about others, reliable, enthusiastic, and helping others from the heart.
Third, emphasize maturity orientation. Mature leaders will be vigilant about the side effects of power, “realize that power is a resource that exists outside of themselves, and its purpose is to solve the problems of others”, prioritize the well-being of disadvantaged groups, and focus on making contributions to society. A career with lasting contribution, willing to take responsibility, take the lead for team victory, and control their emotions.
Of course, in any case, bad power will exist. It is ignorance and outright arrogance to expect that bad power can be eliminated. However, this does not mean that bad power should be indulged and indulged, and that the pursuit of good power and good power is inevitable. On the contrary, we should take concrete actions and make unremitting efforts for empathic, altruistic, and trust-based power.
